When Love Sucks Don’t Fall

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it?

It makes you so vulnerable.  It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you  and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. – Neil Gaiman

Love… please don’t bother me. I’m fine on my own. I have enough friends to laugh with when I am happy and cry with when I am sad … we share each other’s bad hair days as well as cool rocking days. Besides they already occupy my weekends…. I don’t want that to change.

I don’t need a stupid someone to break the rhythm of my smoothly running organized-mess of a life. Why would I want someone to affect my whole being…  and everyday at that?  That is improper, unnecessary  and unthinkable.

I don’t want to spend my every waking moments thinking of just one person who is not even a member of my immediate family and there is not a  sign of emergency.

I don’t want to get caught talking to things that don’t talk back because I might just have the tendency to do that when I’m in love and that would be embarrassing.

I don’t want to lay awake at nights thinking of that stupid person. I would be late for work the next day. I don’t like that… because my boss is always early when I am late and always late when I’m early.

I have work to do. I am a perfectionist when it comes to work. I need to be focused….. When I had my first job,  I had a crush on my senior supervisor, in an orange juice factory. I got canned…… I cannot concentrate. I won’t let that happen again.

I don’t want to look stupid to my colleagues as I smile to myself every now and then when I think of that stupid someone who had the nerve to live in my heart but pay no rent.

I don’t want to spend my day off wishing that stupid someone is here with me so we could watch a stupid Leslie Nielsen or Austin Powers movie on DVD together and laugh at it anyway.

I don’t like my mind wondering where he is or what is he doing. I don’t want to think of him without even thinking first if he is thinking of me.

I don’t want to be tormented by jealousy when I see him talking with women other than his mother, sister or aunt. I might faint because I have a history of dizzy spells when I had to deal with stressful situations.

My heart is weak. If it misses a beat when I see him or hear his voice, it will get weaker.. then I will have a heart malfunction… or maybe a heart failure.

I don’t want to miss talking to that stupid person who fascinates me with his presence and causes me to break into nervous laughter and makes me want to  get at cup of coffee or light a cigarette to calm my freaking nerves.

I don’t want to fall in love with someone whose gaze is like a laser beam that probes through my stomach insides. I don’t want him sending shivers down my spine and making me blush all over while my blood pressure is steadily rising…. I might succumb to stroke.

Love is dangerous. It makes your soul crawls out from its hiding place and makes you give the other person all you have that nothing is left for you to survive on when things go wrong.

Nazareth says… love hurts. It sure does. The mere amount of time spent thinking of that person would surely hurt your brain. If you couple the thinking with crying for some reasons.. you’ll get a headache. If it causes you to spend more than your normal budget because you want to look great, it will hurt your pocket. And an unexpected break-up will hurt your whole person, you will wonder why it is called a heart ache instead of a body ache.

Be careful whom you fall in love with. Love has no limits. It has no guarantees, either. It hurts when it is unrequited. It is worse when it is mutual but there is no future in it.

Love is stupid and it makes you a retard.

Unless …. you find someone available …who calls you beautiful instead of hot.  Someone who messages you whether you are angry at him or not.

Someone who wouldn’t give up easily  and call you back even if you hang up. Someone who surprises you with a gift or two.

Someone who shows you off to the world instead of keeping you under wraps. Someone who thinks you are gorgeous in your favorite Ally McBeal pajamas. Someone who says “I’m sorry” when he’s hurt you for a stupid thing he does.

Someone who could easily say “I love you” and mean it as well.
Someone who points you out to his best friend and proudly says: ” That’s my girl.”

Then its time to fall in love.

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